Have you ever thought about embarking on an empowering journey toward self-discovery, resilience, and your dream life, but find anxiety holding you back? Let me share with you a tale of triumphing over the challenges that hold you back and stepping into your role as the hero of your own life.

First and foremost, there is an incredible superpower within you: your brain. The brain can adapt, change, and grow based on your experiences, learning, and determination. By rewiring your brain to face discomfort and challenges head-on, you can break your anxious cycle and unlock your full potential.

But every hero's journey involves facing a formidable adversary. In this case, the villain is psychological avoidance, an invisible force that keeps you from pursuing your dreams and living a fulfilling life. Psychological avoidance is defined as any response that brings you immediate relief but has long-term consequences. Don't worry, though: With the right mindset and tools, you can vanquish this foe and rise as the hero you were always meant to be.

To defeat psychological avoidance, you must first understand the cognitive triad, or the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors (TEB) cycle. This concept demonstrates how your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all interconnected.

The Thoughts, Emotions, and Behaviors Cycle

Source: Dr. Luana Marques

Let me share a personal example that illustrates the TEB cycle in action. Picture a close friend of mine, let’s call her Emily, who was absolutely petrified of public speaking. Emily was asked to deliver a speech at a conference, and the thought of speaking in front of a large audience filled her with dread.

Here is how the TEB cycle comes into play:

1. Thoughts: Emily's mind is filling with negative thoughts such as "I'm going to mess up" and "People will judge me."
2. Emotions: These thoughts lead to intense feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt.
3. Behaviors: As a result, Emily avoids public speaking opportunities, hindering her career and personal growth.

So how did Emily overcome her avoidance of public speaking? She first identified and challenged her negative thoughts and beliefs and was able to reshape her emotions and behaviors by using a skill called "shift."

Let’s break down Emily’s use of "shift":

1. Thoughts: Emily decides to reframe her negative thoughts to “I am well-prepared” and “I can do this.”
2. Emotions: These more positive thoughts lead to determination, optimism, and less anxiety.
3. Behaviors: Emily decides to accept more public speaking opportunities instead of avoiding them. With each experience, Emily begins to feel more confident in herself.

By practicing the skills outlined in my book, Bold Move: A 3-Step Plan to Transform Anxiety Into Power,​ known as "shift, approach, and align," you'll build resilience and learn to embrace discomfort, paving the way for a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

Remember, you are the protagonist and the writer of your own story. Through the power of your brain, you can conquer psychological avoidance and rise as the hero you were destined to be. The journey may be challenging, but with practice and perseverance, you can break free from the shackles of avoidance and fear.