Donald Trump’s method of branding is straightforward. He slaps his name on a business, whether he owns it or not, and—boom—a café becomes a Trump Café, a grill becomes a Trump Grill, and the White House becomes the Trump White House.

 

Any student of Branding 101 knows that consistency is key. This helps explain why Trump said he did not view Vice President JD Vance as his successor in a recent interview with Fox News’ Bret Baier.

Trump admitted that Vance was “very capable,” before quickly adding, “but I think you have a lot of very capable people.”

Trump didn’t state it explicitly, but one of Vance’s shortcomings is that his last name isn’t Trump. A Vance ascension would be a rebrand and that’s bad for Trump’s business and ego.

The 22nd Amendment of the United States Constitution clearly states that “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice.” Still, Trump has mused loudly about running for a third term for himself by overturning, or simply ignoring that fact.

Should Trump fail to secure a third run, he will probably want to keep it in the family, taking a page from the North Korean political dynasty playbook which saw Supreme Leader Kim Il Sung pass on power to his son Kim Jong Il who later passed it on to his son Kim Jong Un.

Who is the most likely among the Trumps to fill the current president’s black Oxford shoes?

Melania Trump

A president must be U.S.-born which would rule out the first lady who emigrated from Slovenia in the mid-1990s. Still, Melania’s recent first lady portrait gave major Clare Underwood from House of Cards vibes. In that HBO series, the former first lady (played by Robin Wright) ascended to the presidency in the final season. For this to happen in real life, Trump would have to alter the Constitution. And if he’s going to do that for anyone, he will do it for himself.

Chances: None

Donald Trump Jr.

Don Jr. has a leg up on the competition since he carries both the brand’s last and first name. He is 100 percent MAGA and has his own hot daughter to showcase as his father did with sister, Ivanka. Don Jr. was instrumental in choosing Vance as VP so it’s easy to see him pressuring Vance to stay in that role while Don Jr. takes the top of the ticket.

Chances: Yuge

Ivanka Trump

Trump’s eldest daughter would have been a shoo-in since she is poised and actually worked in the White House. Still, in a recent podcast, Ivanka openly declared her hatred of politics. “There is a darkness to that world that I don’t really want to welcome into mine,” she said recently on the Him and Her podcast. At the same time, Ivanka announced that she “loved policy and impact” and that her “highest most core value is family.” So if her father approached her and dangled a chance to become president without having to campaign, Ivanka might jump at the chance.

Chances: Tremendous

Eric Trump

Eric had to dissolve the Eric Trump Foundation after a 2017 Forbes report discovered the charity had funneled money from children with cancer into the family business. This would seem like a deal-breaker except his father’s namesake non-profit met a similar fate. Eric has stayed more in the political background than his siblings and his wife… and there’s probably a good reason for that.

Chances: Fake News

Tiffany Trump

Close to 60 percent of presidents have earned legal degrees so Tiffany’s sheepskin from Georgetown University Law School should boost her chances. Her father even claimed she graduated first in her class. (She didn’t.) But hopes of ruling the free world will probably remain just hopes since Tiffany is the progeny of Trump’s lesser wife Marla Maples. On the other hand, England’s Queen Elizabeth I was the daughter of King Henry VIII’s lesser wife Anne Bolyn so it’s not out of the question. Elizabeth I did reign for 45 years!

Chances: Better than Eric’s

Barron Trump

According to the Constitution, Barron isn’t eligible to run for president until 2041. Still, it’s possible his father could carve out an exemption to the age cut-off for any American over 6’ 4.”

Chances: Better than Tiffany’s

Lara Trump

Eric’s singing wife co-chaired the Republican National Committee and was a constant on the 2024 campaign trail. To reward her efforts, her father-in-law reportedly lobbied Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis to name her to fill Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s empty Senate seat. That didn’t happen for reasons that are unclear. Did DeSantis ask for a quid pro quo endorsement from Trump for his wife Casey DeSantis’ possible run for Governor? Maybe. Lara recently made a deal to host a show on Fox. This move might seem like a shift from politics to media but with the revolving door between the Murdoch network and the Trump administration, Lara could easily end up in the West Wing or Cabinet.

Chances: Consider Big(ly)

Jared ‘Trump’ Kushner

Both the son and son-in-law of a felon, Jared Kushner might be able to come up with a creative arrangement where he and wife Ivanka served as co-presidents. The Trump brand would be maintained with Ivanka overseeing domestic policies and Jared taking on foreign policy. After all, he did help negotiate the heralded Abraham Accords which have ushered in a new golden age of peace in the Middle East.

Chances: Good for the Tom Wambsgans of the Trump clan

Which Trump will triumph in the brand wars? Never bet against original Coke. Or to paraphrase dialogue from the Coen Brothers’ Barton Fink: “We all want it to have that Donald Trump feeling. And since you’re Donald Trump, I’m assuming you have it in spades.”

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