• Discover the Softest Throw Blankets in UK: Woven, Jute, and Cotton Throws

    Instantly enhance your living space with our stylish range of throw blankets. Our collection is perfect for adding color, texture, and warmth to sofas, chairs, and beds. Highlights include sustainable Jute Throw Blankets in UK & USA and the ultimate in softness: the breathable cotton throw blanket. We also feature durable, beautifully textured woven throw blanket styles. Looking for something unique? Our handmade throw blanket pieces make perfect gifts. Stop scrolling for generic options and choose from premium throw blankets in usa and UK. Experience the difference of a high-quality throw blanket and elegant cotton throws that last.

    Shop our exclusive range of handmade throw blanket pieces here: https://chouhanrugs.com/products/category/Throw%20Blankets

    #cottonthrowblanket #woventhrowblanket #handmadethrowblanket #JuteThrowBlankets #cottonthrows #handmadethrowblanket
    Discover the Softest Throw Blankets in UK: Woven, Jute, and Cotton Throws Instantly enhance your living space with our stylish range of throw blankets. Our collection is perfect for adding color, texture, and warmth to sofas, chairs, and beds. Highlights include sustainable Jute Throw Blankets in UK & USA and the ultimate in softness: the breathable cotton throw blanket. We also feature durable, beautifully textured woven throw blanket styles. Looking for something unique? Our handmade throw blanket pieces make perfect gifts. Stop scrolling for generic options and choose from premium throw blankets in usa and UK. Experience the difference of a high-quality throw blanket and elegant cotton throws that last. Shop our exclusive range of handmade throw blanket pieces here: https://chouhanrugs.com/products/category/Throw%20Blankets #cottonthrowblanket #woventhrowblanket #handmadethrowblanket #JuteThrowBlankets #cottonthrows #handmadethrowblanket
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 686 Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • Unmatched Quality and Design in Every Single Jute Throws in Germany

    Are you searching for durable, beautifully textured jute throws in germany? Look no further! Our collection focuses on natural, sustainable home textiles that provide a refined, earthy touch. Jute is an incredible fiber known for its strength and ability to weave into stunning, unique patterns. Our range also highlights other popular styles, including the eye-catching, richly detailed kilim throw in germany, adding a layer of heritage and bold design.

    Stop guessing where to find premium jute throws in germany; get the answer and shop the collection:
    https://chouhanrugs.com/products/category/Throw%20Blankets

    #jute throws in germany#throw blankets in germany#kilim throw in germany#handmade jute throw in germany#handwoven cotton throw in germany
    Unmatched Quality and Design in Every Single Jute Throws in Germany Are you searching for durable, beautifully textured jute throws in germany? Look no further! Our collection focuses on natural, sustainable home textiles that provide a refined, earthy touch. Jute is an incredible fiber known for its strength and ability to weave into stunning, unique patterns. Our range also highlights other popular styles, including the eye-catching, richly detailed kilim throw in germany, adding a layer of heritage and bold design. Stop guessing where to find premium jute throws in germany; get the answer and shop the collection: https://chouhanrugs.com/products/category/Throw%20Blankets #jute throws in germany#throw blankets in germany#kilim throw in germany#handmade jute throw in germany#handwoven cotton throw in germany
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 773 Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • Wrap yourself in cozy luxury!

    Discover the magic of a handcrafted Turkish throw blanket from Denizlipeshtemal.com

    Soft, breathable, and beautifully woven — our throw blankets are perfect for your sofa, bed, or a breezy evening outdoors.

    100% Turkish cotton
    Lightweight & absorbent
    Perfect gift idea

    Add warmth and elegance to your home —

    #Customthrowblankets #Turkishthrowblanket #Throwblanketsinbulk #Wholesalethrowblankets #Peshtemal

    Shop Now: https://denizlipeshtemal.com/product-category/throws-blankets/
    🧺✨ Wrap yourself in cozy luxury! Discover the magic of a handcrafted Turkish throw blanket from Denizlipeshtemal.com 🇹🇷💫 Soft, breathable, and beautifully woven — our throw blankets are perfect for your sofa, bed, or a breezy evening outdoors. 🌿💤 ✨ 100% Turkish cotton 🌊 Lightweight & absorbent 🎁 Perfect gift idea Add warmth and elegance to your home — #Customthrowblankets #Turkishthrowblanket #Throwblanketsinbulk #Wholesalethrowblankets #Peshtemal Shop Now: https://denizlipeshtemal.com/product-category/throws-blankets/
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 1KB Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • 24/7 Payday Loans for Quick Cash in Canada

    Loanspot.ca provides fast and reliable 24/7 payday loans across Canada, ensuring you get the quick cash you need to cover any emergency at any time. Whether it's for unexpected bills, urgent expenses, or personal needs, our simple process guarantees easy access to funds whenever they arise. No hassle, no delay—just straightforward, secure loans to keep you moving forward when life throws a curveball.

    #Bestpersonalloans #Instantcashloans #Installmentloans #Emergencysamedayloans

    Visit Now: https://www.loanspot.ca/get-payday-loans-24-7-in-canada-quick-cash-now/
    24/7 Payday Loans for Quick Cash in Canada Loanspot.ca provides fast and reliable 24/7 payday loans across Canada, ensuring you get the quick cash you need to cover any emergency at any time. Whether it's for unexpected bills, urgent expenses, or personal needs, our simple process guarantees easy access to funds whenever they arise. No hassle, no delay—just straightforward, secure loans to keep you moving forward when life throws a curveball. 🕒💰 #Bestpersonalloans #Instantcashloans #Installmentloans #Emergencysamedayloans Visit Now: https://www.loanspot.ca/get-payday-loans-24-7-in-canada-quick-cash-now/
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 2KB Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • ARK: Survival Evolved is a thrilling online multiplayer survival game that throws you into a world teeming with dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures. Whether you're a seasoned survivor or a fresh spawn, choosing the right server type is crucial for an optimal gameplay experience. This blog post dives deep into the differences between dedicated and non-dedicated servers in ARK, helping you make an informed decision.
    ARK: Survival Evolved is a thrilling online multiplayer survival game that throws you into a world teeming with dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures. Whether you're a seasoned survivor or a fresh spawn, choosing the right server type is crucial for an optimal gameplay experience. This blog post dives deep into the differences between dedicated and non-dedicated servers in ARK, helping you make an informed decision.
    WWW.HOSTINGSEEKERS.COM
    Dedicated Ark Servers vs Non-Dedicated Ark Servers
    Examine the differences between dedicated Ark servers and non-dedicated Ark servers. Find the one that will work best for your gaming demands.
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 1KB Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • When a fly falls into a cup of coffee:

    The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

    The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it, and makes a new cup of coffee.

    The Frenchman - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.

    The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

    The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it comes with no extra charge

    The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

    The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act to the UN as an act of aggression, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives, and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, Frenchman, Chinese, German and Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of tea to the Palestinian.
    When a fly falls into a cup of coffee: The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage. The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it, and makes a new cup of coffee. The Frenchman - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee. The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee. The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it comes with no extra charge The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee. The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act to the UN as an act of aggression, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives, and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, Frenchman, Chinese, German and Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of tea to the Palestinian.
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 1KB Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • STRESS-
    It’s Not You. It’s the World.
    The power of being distressed in a disordered world.
    Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

    KEY POINTS-
    Humans evolved to survive, not to be happy or calm.
    People's current discomfort, despair, rage, guilt, and fear are necessary alarms in an endangered world.
    After listening to and validating the distress signals from their body and mind, an individual can better navigate and heal the world.
    I’m not supposed to talk about myself. It’s been trained out of me. So has reacting, desiring, hurting, hating, and really, being human. Freud Botoxed the faces and hearts of generations of psychiatrists by preaching we become “blank screens” for you. We must be neutral so we don’t interfere with your process. Who I am on the other side of the couch—with my muted heartbreaks and stifled rages—only obstructs my purpose: I’m here to help you.

    Turns out, though, that whittling us into well-trained robots doesn’t create great doctors. Nor does it arm us to heal a diseased world. And ignoring and pushing down all the messy feelings inside awards us many mental health symptoms (I’ve earned more diagnoses than degrees behind my name by now). So, I’m relearning how to be human—and giving myself permission to frown, sob, giggle, and say “No.”

    You’re likely not a psychiatrist, but I wonder what’s been trained out of you, too? Perhaps you’ve learned to push things down to cope in this scary world, whether you needed to please, serve, protect, or survive. And maybe you’re now depressed, anxious, sick, or finding yourself numb with all the things society throws at us to tranquilize that voice in your head that screams, “Danger! This is not okay!”

    Cure the Coal Mine to Save the Canaries
    Because our world isn’t okay right now. If mental health symptoms are the canary, then our coal mine is toxic. Our world is collapsing and combusting all around us, and if we don’t adapt to this challenge fast, it might very well be the end of the world.

    So no, you’re not broken or doing it wrong. You’re human. And being human is inherently painful for all of us. Especially now. We’re designed to feel this distress. It’s our alarm system to survive a dangerous world.

    This idea might send many of you into existential angst, as I’m asking you to abandon the comfort of believing—or more accurately, the socially applauded epidemic of chastising ourselves in the name of "self-improvement"—that if only we were to just do x, y, and z, or to just be a, b, and c, that we could avoid all the pain and flatline on happy.

    So maybe I’m losing you already with no promises of quick fixes. Or maybe you’re noticing relief. Relief that you’re not the only one who hurts, not the only one who lives in your head trying to ruminate a way out of it, who tries every escape hatch possible—for we are exceptionally creative at finding new ways to numb out, despite it only making things worse. Relief that we’re all in this painful, uncertain mess together. Not that misery loves company, but that shame thrives in silence. Relief that, as shame researcher Brenè Brown titled her first book, I thought it was just me, but it isn’t.

    Being Human Is Painful on Purpose
    Because being human is hard. The Buddha called it ‘dukkha’ (in Pali) as his first Noble Truth to describe the inherent discomfort of everyday life. Freud’s greatest aspiration was to transform hysteric misery into common unhappiness.[1]Evolutionary psychologists teach that we’ve evolved to survive, not to be happy or calm.[2]

    If we think back to our predecessors, living thousands of years ago, looking out in the distance, and thinking, “Is that a big, scary beast that can eat me or just a bush?” [3] It wasn’t the chill, effortlessly confident ones who survived. Those naturally selected to become our ancestors were the stressed-out buzzkills who could imagine the worst out of any situation. The most anxious, untrusting, and pessimistic people were the ones who managed to pass on their genes to the next generation.

    We’re also wired for connection. So threats to our social status—getting kicked out of the tribe—are equally threatening to our survival. Feeling “not enough,” comparing ourselves to others, fears of rejection—these have also been naturally selected for survival. (Yes, I’m saying my insecurity means I’m highly evolved.)

    It Makes Sense That You're Distressed
    When dialectical behavioral therapy’s (DBT) creator, Marsha Linehan, began counseling clients as a new, eager clinician, she quickly realized that the more she threw advice and change strategies at her clients, the worse they did.[4] What she realized she missed was validating their pain—simply communicating, “Ouch. That makes sense you’re hurting”—now the foundation of DBT.

    We invalidate when we oversimplify the problem (“Why don’t you just think positively?”; “Just breathe”) or reject someone’s inner experience (“There’s nothing to be upset about”; “Just let it go.”)

    So, I’m not going to oversimplify our problem. Healing our world will be the battle of our lives. And to do so, we need to relearn how to be human, in all its intensity, pain, and turmoil. We need to feel deep distress when our world is endangered. Because right now, it is. Our discomfort and despair, our rage and our fear; these are the appropriate smoke alarms to a world on fire.

    Our Symptoms Are Important Signals for Survival
    Before we learn strategies to soothe our symptoms, we need to listen closely to what they’re signaling. We’re not stressed because we’re malfunctioning. Our bodies and minds are doing exactly what they’re supposed to—protecting us by setting off alarms or short-circuiting in toxic environments. This is how we’re built to survive.

    We often blame ourselves for being damaged or doing it wrong when we struggle. It’s more comfortable than sitting with the heavy reality that the world around us is broken in overwhelmingly complex ways. If it’s just us, it’s easier to fix. I wish I could tell you to just meditate and think positively and you would magically be cured of this pain, that everything would be fine. But it’s not you that’s the problem.

    Our alarms are blaring because we are exposed, relentlessly, to the imbalances in our societies that constantly assault us with toxins and traumas, whether social, psychological, biological, chemical, ecological, historical, or political.[5] Silencing these alarms doesn’t make the distress go away, it just transforms them into louder signals, like sickness in our bodies or mental health disorders in our minds.

    We need to feel distress to survive. If we retrain ourselves to listen and validate what our bodies and minds are signaling, we can more clearly navigate and heal the toxic systems we live in. And only when our world begins healing can our alarms finally rest.
    STRESS- It’s Not You. It’s the World. The power of being distressed in a disordered world. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan KEY POINTS- Humans evolved to survive, not to be happy or calm. People's current discomfort, despair, rage, guilt, and fear are necessary alarms in an endangered world. After listening to and validating the distress signals from their body and mind, an individual can better navigate and heal the world. I’m not supposed to talk about myself. It’s been trained out of me. So has reacting, desiring, hurting, hating, and really, being human. Freud Botoxed the faces and hearts of generations of psychiatrists by preaching we become “blank screens” for you. We must be neutral so we don’t interfere with your process. Who I am on the other side of the couch—with my muted heartbreaks and stifled rages—only obstructs my purpose: I’m here to help you. Turns out, though, that whittling us into well-trained robots doesn’t create great doctors. Nor does it arm us to heal a diseased world. And ignoring and pushing down all the messy feelings inside awards us many mental health symptoms (I’ve earned more diagnoses than degrees behind my name by now). So, I’m relearning how to be human—and giving myself permission to frown, sob, giggle, and say “No.” You’re likely not a psychiatrist, but I wonder what’s been trained out of you, too? Perhaps you’ve learned to push things down to cope in this scary world, whether you needed to please, serve, protect, or survive. And maybe you’re now depressed, anxious, sick, or finding yourself numb with all the things society throws at us to tranquilize that voice in your head that screams, “Danger! This is not okay!” Cure the Coal Mine to Save the Canaries Because our world isn’t okay right now. If mental health symptoms are the canary, then our coal mine is toxic. Our world is collapsing and combusting all around us, and if we don’t adapt to this challenge fast, it might very well be the end of the world. So no, you’re not broken or doing it wrong. You’re human. And being human is inherently painful for all of us. Especially now. We’re designed to feel this distress. It’s our alarm system to survive a dangerous world. This idea might send many of you into existential angst, as I’m asking you to abandon the comfort of believing—or more accurately, the socially applauded epidemic of chastising ourselves in the name of "self-improvement"—that if only we were to just do x, y, and z, or to just be a, b, and c, that we could avoid all the pain and flatline on happy. So maybe I’m losing you already with no promises of quick fixes. Or maybe you’re noticing relief. Relief that you’re not the only one who hurts, not the only one who lives in your head trying to ruminate a way out of it, who tries every escape hatch possible—for we are exceptionally creative at finding new ways to numb out, despite it only making things worse. Relief that we’re all in this painful, uncertain mess together. Not that misery loves company, but that shame thrives in silence. Relief that, as shame researcher Brenè Brown titled her first book, I thought it was just me, but it isn’t. Being Human Is Painful on Purpose Because being human is hard. The Buddha called it ‘dukkha’ (in Pali) as his first Noble Truth to describe the inherent discomfort of everyday life. Freud’s greatest aspiration was to transform hysteric misery into common unhappiness.[1]Evolutionary psychologists teach that we’ve evolved to survive, not to be happy or calm.[2] If we think back to our predecessors, living thousands of years ago, looking out in the distance, and thinking, “Is that a big, scary beast that can eat me or just a bush?” [3] It wasn’t the chill, effortlessly confident ones who survived. Those naturally selected to become our ancestors were the stressed-out buzzkills who could imagine the worst out of any situation. The most anxious, untrusting, and pessimistic people were the ones who managed to pass on their genes to the next generation. We’re also wired for connection. So threats to our social status—getting kicked out of the tribe—are equally threatening to our survival. Feeling “not enough,” comparing ourselves to others, fears of rejection—these have also been naturally selected for survival. (Yes, I’m saying my insecurity means I’m highly evolved.) It Makes Sense That You're Distressed When dialectical behavioral therapy’s (DBT) creator, Marsha Linehan, began counseling clients as a new, eager clinician, she quickly realized that the more she threw advice and change strategies at her clients, the worse they did.[4] What she realized she missed was validating their pain—simply communicating, “Ouch. That makes sense you’re hurting”—now the foundation of DBT. We invalidate when we oversimplify the problem (“Why don’t you just think positively?”; “Just breathe”) or reject someone’s inner experience (“There’s nothing to be upset about”; “Just let it go.”) So, I’m not going to oversimplify our problem. Healing our world will be the battle of our lives. And to do so, we need to relearn how to be human, in all its intensity, pain, and turmoil. We need to feel deep distress when our world is endangered. Because right now, it is. Our discomfort and despair, our rage and our fear; these are the appropriate smoke alarms to a world on fire. Our Symptoms Are Important Signals for Survival Before we learn strategies to soothe our symptoms, we need to listen closely to what they’re signaling. We’re not stressed because we’re malfunctioning. Our bodies and minds are doing exactly what they’re supposed to—protecting us by setting off alarms or short-circuiting in toxic environments. This is how we’re built to survive. We often blame ourselves for being damaged or doing it wrong when we struggle. It’s more comfortable than sitting with the heavy reality that the world around us is broken in overwhelmingly complex ways. If it’s just us, it’s easier to fix. I wish I could tell you to just meditate and think positively and you would magically be cured of this pain, that everything would be fine. But it’s not you that’s the problem. Our alarms are blaring because we are exposed, relentlessly, to the imbalances in our societies that constantly assault us with toxins and traumas, whether social, psychological, biological, chemical, ecological, historical, or political.[5] Silencing these alarms doesn’t make the distress go away, it just transforms them into louder signals, like sickness in our bodies or mental health disorders in our minds. We need to feel distress to survive. If we retrain ourselves to listen and validate what our bodies and minds are signaling, we can more clearly navigate and heal the toxic systems we live in. And only when our world begins healing can our alarms finally rest.
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 910 Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • When Self-Pleasure Habits Get in the Way of Partnered Sex.
    The neuroscience behind our sexual patterns.
    Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

    KEY POINTS-
    The more ways you can experience sexual pleasure, and the more pleasure you can generate, the more likely you are to reach orgasm.
    When you bring yourself to orgasm in a specific way, you’re strengthening a neural pathway in your brain.
    It takes time to build a new neural pathway.

    If I could give one piece of sex advice to everyone, it would be this: “Switch it up on a regular basis!”

    The more ways you can develop for experiencing sexual pleasure, and the more pleasure you can generate, the more likely you are to reach orgasm, whether alone or with a partner. The more different routes you have to orgasm on your own, the more likely you will find a way to reach orgasm with a partner. And the more different routes you have to orgasm with a partner, the more likely you are to experience pleasure even when life throws a wrench into things and certain activities aren’t possible for one reason or another.

    Most people who reliably reach orgasm have one primary way of doing so. It is perfectly understandable that people go with what works; why argue with success? Our cultural expectation seems to be that sex isn’t “real sex” unless there is an orgasm, and not only that, an orgasm that someone else “gave” us. So once we figure out how to “give our partner an orgasm”, we tend to stick with that strategy rather than continue to explore and risk not “getting it right”, “being a bad lover” or just missing the orgasm entirely some of the time.

    Here’s the problem: the more you focus on just one way of reaching orgasm or experiencing pleasure, the more likely you are to get stuck in a rut. When you bring yourself to orgasm in a specific way, you’re strengthening a neural pathway in your brain. Every time you do the same thing, that pathway gets stronger. Unless you switch it up and cultivate other ways of reaching orgasm, it becomes harder and harder to do so in any other way.

    There are lots of ways this might look:
    I self-pleasure by rubbing myself against something, and I can’t get that same feeling and reach orgasm with a partner
    I self-pleasure while watching porn, and find it hard to reach orgasm with a partner
    I can’t reach orgasm without a particular fantasy, and that makes me uncomfortable; I’d rather be able to do it without that particular fantasy
    I self-pleasure dry (or with a tight hand), and then when I have penis-in-vagina sex with my partner, the sensation just isn’t strong enough to get over the edge

    All of these examples point to a particular pathway to orgasm, involving a combination of thoughts, images, novel stimuli, types of touch, amount of slipperiness, amount of pressure, broad versus specific stimulation, etc.

    The key to shifting a habitual neural pathway to orgasm is to start to change it up. Let me be clear; this is not always easy, nor is it something most people can accomplish quickly. That’s why an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! If you already have multiple ways you can experience high levels of sexual pleasure, make sure to use all of them to get to orgasm, not just the easiest one.

    And if you are in a rut, consider what is different between the way you most easily reach orgasm and the way you and your partner have sex. Think about all the components of the interaction. Then begin experimenting with shifting one or two things more toward a sensation or visual stimulation that partnered sex can match. Here are some specific suggestions:

    If you watch porn, watch just one video all the way through rather than clicking between many. Get used to arousal ebbing and flowing, and returning, even when the “action” is a little slower and less novel
    If you touch yourself without lube, try using lube. Partner sex is often slicker than solo sex, although not always. If the opposite is true, try using less lube.
    If you rub against something, try placing your hand between the object and your body. Gradually shift how much of the sensation is coming from diffuse pressure versus your hand moving, or specific touch.
    If you have a favorite fantasy, see if you can develop a second-runner-up fantasy. See if you can come up with one that has some things in common with sexy aspects of your partner, or the way you and your partner have sex.
    The strategy is to, very gradually, use the new way more and more during any given sexual interaction. Most people like to start this experiment solo, but there is no reason you can’t do it with a partner too if you’re both comfortable with some experimentation.

    Start getting turned on the “old” way. But once arousal is building, switch it up. If arousal begins to fall and it is hard to get it to build again, shift back to the tried-and-true, but when possible, shift back again to the new way. Most people starting this experiment need to use the old way to tip over into orgasm at first, but the goal is to become able to get over the orgasmic threshold with the “new way”, which ideally is in some way significantly more similar to partnered sex.

    This is necessarily a gradual process, because it takes time to build a new neural pathway. And it generally feels frustrating; neurons have to literally find one another and connect in new ways.

    Having a therapist who can support this process can be very helpful. It is important to strike a balance between building the new neural pathway, and experiencing sexual pleasure without too much frustration. You can’t rush this process. Finding ways to stay steady, find patience, make it fun, and keep clear on why you’re doing this in the first place will be crucial.

    Whether you are thinking about this from the viewpoint of a therapist helping others, or a person wanting to increase your experience and ease with orgasm, ask yourself what neural pathway issues may be at play, and how you can start building diverse pathways towards more connected, satisfying, and flexible encounters.
    When Self-Pleasure Habits Get in the Way of Partnered Sex. The neuroscience behind our sexual patterns. Reviewed by Michelle Quirk KEY POINTS- The more ways you can experience sexual pleasure, and the more pleasure you can generate, the more likely you are to reach orgasm. When you bring yourself to orgasm in a specific way, you’re strengthening a neural pathway in your brain. It takes time to build a new neural pathway. If I could give one piece of sex advice to everyone, it would be this: “Switch it up on a regular basis!” The more ways you can develop for experiencing sexual pleasure, and the more pleasure you can generate, the more likely you are to reach orgasm, whether alone or with a partner. The more different routes you have to orgasm on your own, the more likely you will find a way to reach orgasm with a partner. And the more different routes you have to orgasm with a partner, the more likely you are to experience pleasure even when life throws a wrench into things and certain activities aren’t possible for one reason or another. Most people who reliably reach orgasm have one primary way of doing so. It is perfectly understandable that people go with what works; why argue with success? Our cultural expectation seems to be that sex isn’t “real sex” unless there is an orgasm, and not only that, an orgasm that someone else “gave” us. So once we figure out how to “give our partner an orgasm”, we tend to stick with that strategy rather than continue to explore and risk not “getting it right”, “being a bad lover” or just missing the orgasm entirely some of the time. Here’s the problem: the more you focus on just one way of reaching orgasm or experiencing pleasure, the more likely you are to get stuck in a rut. When you bring yourself to orgasm in a specific way, you’re strengthening a neural pathway in your brain. Every time you do the same thing, that pathway gets stronger. Unless you switch it up and cultivate other ways of reaching orgasm, it becomes harder and harder to do so in any other way. There are lots of ways this might look: I self-pleasure by rubbing myself against something, and I can’t get that same feeling and reach orgasm with a partner I self-pleasure while watching porn, and find it hard to reach orgasm with a partner I can’t reach orgasm without a particular fantasy, and that makes me uncomfortable; I’d rather be able to do it without that particular fantasy I self-pleasure dry (or with a tight hand), and then when I have penis-in-vagina sex with my partner, the sensation just isn’t strong enough to get over the edge All of these examples point to a particular pathway to orgasm, involving a combination of thoughts, images, novel stimuli, types of touch, amount of slipperiness, amount of pressure, broad versus specific stimulation, etc. The key to shifting a habitual neural pathway to orgasm is to start to change it up. Let me be clear; this is not always easy, nor is it something most people can accomplish quickly. That’s why an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! If you already have multiple ways you can experience high levels of sexual pleasure, make sure to use all of them to get to orgasm, not just the easiest one. And if you are in a rut, consider what is different between the way you most easily reach orgasm and the way you and your partner have sex. Think about all the components of the interaction. Then begin experimenting with shifting one or two things more toward a sensation or visual stimulation that partnered sex can match. Here are some specific suggestions: If you watch porn, watch just one video all the way through rather than clicking between many. Get used to arousal ebbing and flowing, and returning, even when the “action” is a little slower and less novel If you touch yourself without lube, try using lube. Partner sex is often slicker than solo sex, although not always. If the opposite is true, try using less lube. If you rub against something, try placing your hand between the object and your body. Gradually shift how much of the sensation is coming from diffuse pressure versus your hand moving, or specific touch. If you have a favorite fantasy, see if you can develop a second-runner-up fantasy. See if you can come up with one that has some things in common with sexy aspects of your partner, or the way you and your partner have sex. The strategy is to, very gradually, use the new way more and more during any given sexual interaction. Most people like to start this experiment solo, but there is no reason you can’t do it with a partner too if you’re both comfortable with some experimentation. Start getting turned on the “old” way. But once arousal is building, switch it up. If arousal begins to fall and it is hard to get it to build again, shift back to the tried-and-true, but when possible, shift back again to the new way. Most people starting this experiment need to use the old way to tip over into orgasm at first, but the goal is to become able to get over the orgasmic threshold with the “new way”, which ideally is in some way significantly more similar to partnered sex. This is necessarily a gradual process, because it takes time to build a new neural pathway. And it generally feels frustrating; neurons have to literally find one another and connect in new ways. Having a therapist who can support this process can be very helpful. It is important to strike a balance between building the new neural pathway, and experiencing sexual pleasure without too much frustration. You can’t rush this process. Finding ways to stay steady, find patience, make it fun, and keep clear on why you’re doing this in the first place will be crucial. Whether you are thinking about this from the viewpoint of a therapist helping others, or a person wanting to increase your experience and ease with orgasm, ask yourself what neural pathway issues may be at play, and how you can start building diverse pathways towards more connected, satisfying, and flexible encounters.
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 1KB Visualizações 0 Anterior
  • STRESS-
    Small Hassles, Big Stress: Why the Little Things Get to Us.
    Don’t underestimate how everyday hassles create stress and wear you down.
    Reviewed by Davia Sills

    KEY POINTS-
    Major life events can have significant consequences, yet the gnawing of persistent minor irritations may be more prevalent and harmful.
    Failing to recognize and address small, accumulating aggravations can lead to serious emotional, social, and physical problems.
    Experiencing stressful issues is inevitable; our responses and the resources we rely on for assistance are key to protecting our health.

    In Jonathan Swift’s 18th-century novel Gulliver's Travels, shipwrecked sea captain Gulliver collapses on the shores of Lilliput—the land of tiny people. He awakens to find himself completely immobilized; though he is a giant by comparison, the Lilliputians have bound him with thousands of minuscule ties. The story illustrates how something tiny, when multiplied, can topple even a giant.

    By analogy, in our everyday life, we encounter many minor aggravations: the Lilliputian hassles. We are all aware of the stories of people who overcome mind-boggling injuries, medical illnesses, or severe financial and other life obstacles. These narratives are undoubtedly inspirational, yet, while instructive about the power of resiliency, there is the other side of the story: Little things can (and do) get to us.

    Lilliputian hassles: Tiny aggravations are stressful.
    Because the everyday hassles are small, we may underestimate their effect. At face value, these common, everyday irritations might not seem like they should impact us: the toddler who throws a fit at the grocery store line, waiting forever on hold to address a cable bill, the significant other who forgets to stop at the store and buy milk, the elderly parent who forgets to charge their cellphone, the mandatory online work training that you can’t link onto, and so on. Waiting on hold is not the same as “big-ticket stressors," such as getting fired, divorced, or losing a loved one. Therefore, it may seem trivial and irrelevant to our mental health.

    We underestimate the impact of daily hassles on our emotional health because—unlike major life events—they are common occurrences. Although we have more than enough psychological resources to deal with a single tiny stressor, Lilliputian hassles, when multiplied, can emotionally overwhelm and immobilize us. Daily hassles can and do cause stress.

    Daily hassles can negatively impact emotional health.
    The impact of daily hassles on emotional health is not negligible. Psychological research has repeatedly demonstrated that daily hassles are stressful, particularly when they create negative emotions. Over 30 years ago, psychologists began to recognize how major life events—the death of a parent, spouse, or child, loss of employment, or a significant health issue—create psychological distress. The research then turned to the impact of daily hassles that also predicted emotional distress—and, in some studies, with an even stronger effect than the impact of major life events.

    When not managed, daily hassles can stress our bodies. They can lead to poor habits (overeating, drinking too much, not exercising) that can compromise our physical health. When an event is perceived as stressful, even these seemingly trivial stressors over time may trigger the release of cortisol and other hormones (as in through the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis). A daily and relentless dose of negative emotions, which are reactive to hassles, can erode one’s sense of well-being.

    Manage daily hassles as they occur to avoid emotional exhaustion.
    Each daily hassle by itself is manageable. It is the buildup that is emotionally exhausting. The pathway out of emotional exhaustion and inertia may be finding ways to neutralize the effect of everyday hassles as they occur. Psychologists have found that reducing the negative focus of the stressor through cognitive reframing—deliberately pivoting toward the positive—can reduce the subjective distress that can accompany minor irritating events.

    Neutralizing the impact of the hassle requires recognizing the event as a stressor and identifying its impact in the moment. As an example, you have been either on hold or switched from one customer service representative to another in dealing with a credit card charge issue. You may be thinking, “I’m feeling really irritated waiting so long on hold.”

    Neutralizing the impact requires that you actively re-brand (cognitively reframe) the experience: “I feel glad that I am getting this overcharge finally taken care of.” Follow up with rewarding yourself with an “uplift” or a positive experience, such as treating yourself after the task is over to something you enjoy: a latte at your favorite coffee shop, listening to a song that lifts you up, or going for a brisk walk.

    Free yourself from being a prisoner of stress.
    Everyday hassles are stressful, and the impact of that stress is not inconsequential. We get to an emotionally depleted state when we don’t recognize the emotional consequences of the Lilliputian hassles. The cumulative impact of hassles is that they can create negative emotions: worry, irritability, anger, and unhappiness. These emotions can wear on a sense of control over one’s life, enhance a feeling of lack of competence in the ability to manage our lives, and, in turn, foster helplessness.

    Gulliver—a giant, by comparison—became a prisoner to the tiny denizens of Lilliput. Our psychological resources are like Gulliver—gigantic in comparison to a daily Lilliputian annoyance. Recognizing at the moment that the annoyance is tiny and neutralizing the Lilliputian hassle is a pathway out of being immobilized by a thousand little daily irritations. In other words, it is freeing yourself from becoming a prisoner of stress.
    STRESS- Small Hassles, Big Stress: Why the Little Things Get to Us. Don’t underestimate how everyday hassles create stress and wear you down. Reviewed by Davia Sills KEY POINTS- Major life events can have significant consequences, yet the gnawing of persistent minor irritations may be more prevalent and harmful. Failing to recognize and address small, accumulating aggravations can lead to serious emotional, social, and physical problems. Experiencing stressful issues is inevitable; our responses and the resources we rely on for assistance are key to protecting our health. In Jonathan Swift’s 18th-century novel Gulliver's Travels, shipwrecked sea captain Gulliver collapses on the shores of Lilliput—the land of tiny people. He awakens to find himself completely immobilized; though he is a giant by comparison, the Lilliputians have bound him with thousands of minuscule ties. The story illustrates how something tiny, when multiplied, can topple even a giant. By analogy, in our everyday life, we encounter many minor aggravations: the Lilliputian hassles. We are all aware of the stories of people who overcome mind-boggling injuries, medical illnesses, or severe financial and other life obstacles. These narratives are undoubtedly inspirational, yet, while instructive about the power of resiliency, there is the other side of the story: Little things can (and do) get to us. Lilliputian hassles: Tiny aggravations are stressful. Because the everyday hassles are small, we may underestimate their effect. At face value, these common, everyday irritations might not seem like they should impact us: the toddler who throws a fit at the grocery store line, waiting forever on hold to address a cable bill, the significant other who forgets to stop at the store and buy milk, the elderly parent who forgets to charge their cellphone, the mandatory online work training that you can’t link onto, and so on. Waiting on hold is not the same as “big-ticket stressors," such as getting fired, divorced, or losing a loved one. Therefore, it may seem trivial and irrelevant to our mental health. We underestimate the impact of daily hassles on our emotional health because—unlike major life events—they are common occurrences. Although we have more than enough psychological resources to deal with a single tiny stressor, Lilliputian hassles, when multiplied, can emotionally overwhelm and immobilize us. Daily hassles can and do cause stress. Daily hassles can negatively impact emotional health. The impact of daily hassles on emotional health is not negligible. Psychological research has repeatedly demonstrated that daily hassles are stressful, particularly when they create negative emotions. Over 30 years ago, psychologists began to recognize how major life events—the death of a parent, spouse, or child, loss of employment, or a significant health issue—create psychological distress. The research then turned to the impact of daily hassles that also predicted emotional distress—and, in some studies, with an even stronger effect than the impact of major life events. When not managed, daily hassles can stress our bodies. They can lead to poor habits (overeating, drinking too much, not exercising) that can compromise our physical health. When an event is perceived as stressful, even these seemingly trivial stressors over time may trigger the release of cortisol and other hormones (as in through the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis). A daily and relentless dose of negative emotions, which are reactive to hassles, can erode one’s sense of well-being. Manage daily hassles as they occur to avoid emotional exhaustion. Each daily hassle by itself is manageable. It is the buildup that is emotionally exhausting. The pathway out of emotional exhaustion and inertia may be finding ways to neutralize the effect of everyday hassles as they occur. Psychologists have found that reducing the negative focus of the stressor through cognitive reframing—deliberately pivoting toward the positive—can reduce the subjective distress that can accompany minor irritating events. Neutralizing the impact of the hassle requires recognizing the event as a stressor and identifying its impact in the moment. As an example, you have been either on hold or switched from one customer service representative to another in dealing with a credit card charge issue. You may be thinking, “I’m feeling really irritated waiting so long on hold.” Neutralizing the impact requires that you actively re-brand (cognitively reframe) the experience: “I feel glad that I am getting this overcharge finally taken care of.” Follow up with rewarding yourself with an “uplift” or a positive experience, such as treating yourself after the task is over to something you enjoy: a latte at your favorite coffee shop, listening to a song that lifts you up, or going for a brisk walk. Free yourself from being a prisoner of stress. Everyday hassles are stressful, and the impact of that stress is not inconsequential. We get to an emotionally depleted state when we don’t recognize the emotional consequences of the Lilliputian hassles. The cumulative impact of hassles is that they can create negative emotions: worry, irritability, anger, and unhappiness. These emotions can wear on a sense of control over one’s life, enhance a feeling of lack of competence in the ability to manage our lives, and, in turn, foster helplessness. Gulliver—a giant, by comparison—became a prisoner to the tiny denizens of Lilliput. Our psychological resources are like Gulliver—gigantic in comparison to a daily Lilliputian annoyance. Recognizing at the moment that the annoyance is tiny and neutralizing the Lilliputian hassle is a pathway out of being immobilized by a thousand little daily irritations. In other words, it is freeing yourself from becoming a prisoner of stress.
    0 Comentários 0 Compartilhamentos 2KB Visualizações 0 Anterior
Patrocinado
google-site-verification: google037b30823fc02426.html
Patrocinado
google-site-verification: google037b30823fc02426.html