Plant “if, then,” thought seeds that will bloom into reassuring beliefs of confidence and hope.

Source: Akil Mazumder / Pexels

Anticipating the future is a common part of human existence. Our ability to think ahead is an important component of executive functioning.

However, anxious thoughts warp planning into thought traps that cognitive behavioral therapists call fortune-telling and catastrophizing. When we fall into these thought traps, we predict the future and expect disastrous outcomes.

We waste our present headspace worrying about what will happen if we make a mistake, someone rejects us, or that bad thing we dread happens. Our heads are preoccupied with anticipating negative outcomes that we have little evidence to back up.

Fortune-telling and catastrophizing tend to be accompanied by the strong belief that we are right, even though there is a small likelihood that the feared outcomes will happen. Do you fortune tell and catastrophize? Do you want to know how to change these unhelpful thought patterns?

What Ifs

As a psychologist who sees clients in private practice, I have worked with countless clients who struggle with the problem of "what if." I listen with compassion and a supportive stance as my clients verbalize their "what if" worries—a common way fortune telling and catastrophizing manifest.

These clients do not know each other and have very different lives, but they have this worrisome thought process in common. Instead of enjoying the present and going to sleep with a clear mind, they are preoccupied with the fear and angst that accompany their “what ifs.”

Common "What If" Statements

• What if I can't afford the repairs needed on our house?
• What if I don't have a friend in my first-year English class?
• What if I die and then my children have to grow up without a mother?
• What if my children are shot at school?
• What if I get on an airplane and it crashes?
• What if I bomb my job interview?
• What if my wife gets mad at me and we divorce?
• What if I don’t have enough money to retire?

Underneath the “what if” statements often lie our fears of rejection, loneliness, loss, death, defectiveness, and insecurity. Unfortunately, ruminating on the “what if” tends to strengthen the fear and lead to more anxiousness. “What if” thinking just adds oxygen to the anxiety, leading it to grow and spread. Feelings of terror, sadness, despair, shock, and panic are additional negative feelings that can arise from catastrophizing and fortune-telling.

Changing the "What If" to "If, Then"

Instead of “what If,”, I invite my clients to challenge themselves to replace the “what if” thinking with “if, then" thinking.

"What if” thinking can lead to an endless spiral of self-consuming hypotheticals. “What if” thinking leads people to feel less in charge of their destiny and more out of control.

“If, then” thinking helps you remember that your feared outcome hasn’t happened yet and might never happen. “If, then” thinking reminds you that you do have agency and are capable of handling bad things that may transpire. Let’s give it a try with the examples above.

• If I can’t afford to pay for my house repairs, then I’ll think about who might be able to help me.
• If I don’t know anyone in my English class, then I’ll see who seems friendly and try to say hi to them.
• If something happens to me, then I will trust in the plan I've already come up with so my children are still taken care of.
• If a tragedy happens with my children, I will be devastated and then I will figure out what to do next.
• The odds of my airplane crashing are very low; If it does crash, then I’ll react because I can’t prevent it now.
• If I find myself struggling during my interview, then I’ll take a deep breath and do my best.
• If my wife gets mad at me and wants a divorce, then I will handle it at the moment because I am capable.
• If I don’t have enough money to retire, then I will consult with people I trust and figure out a solution.

“If, then” thinking takes practice. These statements are often longer and more complex than the “what if” thoughts. Check-in with yourself about how you feel as you formulate the "if, then" reframes. Originally, they may not feel natural. However, it is well worth trying this approach because it will eventually help you feel grounded and more steady.

Imagine the “what if” thoughts as weeds that need to be pulled. In their place, plant “if, then” seeds that will bloom into reassuring beliefs of confidence and hope. Can't do this alone? Working with a trusted loved one or therapist to build your personalized "if, then" statements is also worth trying.