Unconditional positive regard means that a therapist accepts each and every client for who they are.

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One of the most powerful lessons I learned in graduate school was from the writings of the person-centered, humanistic psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers. Humanistic therapy emphasizes the importance of providing clients with unconditional positive regard.

What is Unconditional Positive Regard?

Unconditional positive regard means that a therapist accepts each and every client for who they are. If clients engage in behavior the therapist disagrees with, clients still are to be embraced with acceptance, not for their behaviors, but for their personhood.

Receiving unconditional positive regard is one way to help clients experience warmth, genuineness, and comfort. Modeling unconditional positive regard is also a way clients can aim to practice embracing themselves without judgment as well.

Embrace your Humanness

Dr. Roger's ideas are on one hand poetic and simple. On the other hand, they may be very challenging to implement. Yet when my clients struggle with self-criticism, shame, and judgment, receiving a reminder that they are "human" is an important intervention.

Practicing radical self-acceptance and connecting with your humanness is an anecdote for shame and despair.

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When clients believe they are defective and that there's something wrong with them, they often experience shame too. Despite its unhelpful nature, feeling ashamed is not an easy emotion to let go of or change. Unfortunately, self-criticism wants to cling on and is hard to dispute and replace.

However, practicing radical self-acceptance and connecting with your humanness is an anecdote for shame and despair. I share this principle with my clients on a frequent basis, and yet it continues to be one of the most challenging ones for them to apply.

Here are some strategies to practice embracing your humanness.

1. Self-Talk

Try writing, thinking, and verbalizing the following:

• I am enough.
• I am worthy.
• I have self-worth because I am human.
• My accomplishments and failures don't define me.
• It's OK to make mistakes. I am human.
• I will accept myself for who I am.
• I am good enough just the way I am.

Affirmative self-talk is a way to internalize unconditional positive regard.

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2. Quotes of Inspiration

Find quotes that are inspiring or meaningful to you. Post them in places you will see often.

3. Keep Practicing

Instead of expecting ourselves to be perfect, embracing our humanness is a process worth embarking on. Research suggests unconditional positive regard has healthy benefits including increased motivation, confidence, perseverance, and vitality. Take the tangible steps of practicing self-talk and using quotes to accept your humanness.