Childhood trauma, such as violent, dangerous, or life-threatening events, often elicit fear responses and can violate emotional and bodily integrity. Time-limited or single incidents such as car accidents or natural disasters (e.g., floods or earthquakes) can be detrimental to a child’s mental well-being.

Ongoing stress, such as living in a violent neighborhood, witnessing a war, being a refugee, having abusive or emotionally unavailable parents, or being bullied in school, can take a major psychological toll on children. Childhood trauma does not have to involve experiences that occur directly to the child. Watching a loved one being abused or hurt can be extremely traumatic, as can exposure to violent media.

Research has shown that the long-term effects of childhood trauma can lead to learning disabilities, legal problems, inability to maintain relationships, academic and employment challenges, and ongoing physical and mental health concerns.

Following a traumatic experience, children may exhibit signs of acute stress, including behavioral and emotional symptoms.

Signs and Symptoms to Pay Attention to if Your Child Experienced Trauma

• Acting out
• Acting younger than they are (such as sucking their thumb)
• Anger issues
• Attention problems
• Changes in eating patterns
• Difficulty going to the bathroom or bed wetting
• Difficulty in socializing
• Feeling depressed or anxious
• Irritability
• Hypervigilance
• Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
• Mood swings
• Poor school performance
• Preoccupation with fears or phobias
• Shyness
• Somatic, bodily complaints such as muscle tension, headaches, or stomachaches
• They may appear to be detached, numb, or delayed in responding
• Trouble sleeping and nightmares

 

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Navigating the Path to Family Trauma Recovery

Family systems form the foundation of children’s understanding of what it means to be in a relationship and how to communicate. In the face of a traumatic event, the sense of safety for the child or the entire family system may be disrupted.

While navigating the path to family trauma recovery, we must first create a safe environment where open communication is possible. While empathy may not be natural to some, it can be practiced, taught, and modeled. Interactions with children must be developmentally appropriate—both from a cognitive as well as an emotional standpoint.

The goal is to gain insight into the psychological and physiological effects of the trauma as early as possible so that the therapeutic interventions can have the best chance of reducing symptoms and leading to long-term recovery.

10 Ways to Help Your Child Cope

1. Safety first: After a traumatic incident, help your child understand it was not their fault. Reassure them that you will do everything in your power to keep them safe.
2. Open communication is key: Answer all their questions. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and validate their emotions.
3. Set predictable, consistent daily routines: Similar bedtimes, regular mealtimes, and clear expectations will enforce a sense of safety. While this sounds basic, the guardrails and comfort they provide are critical.
4. Go at their pace: Be in tune with their needs and allow them to recover at their own pace while sticking to a daily routine as much as possible.
5. Get down to their level: Remember, when talking with children, you are larger in size and may come across as intimidating. Consider getting to your child’s eye level and make sure your tone is calm.
6. Talk in a language they can understand: Monitor your choice of words and use phrases that are not too complicated, are matter-of-fact, and convey your message without blame or shame.
7. Validate and mirror their emotions: Validations such as, “I understand you are feeling scared right now” will allow the child to feel heard and seen. It will also enhance their ability to name their emotions.
8. Read books together that examine experiences like theirs: There are a vast number of resources, picture books, self-help books, and chapter books that address struggles such as grief, bullying, having a sick parent, and more. Reading books that examine similar experiences will allow for self-exploration and organic discussion.
9. Model self-regulation: As a parent or caregiver, we can model self-regulation and mindfulness techniques and normalize having difficult emotions while we show them how we cope.
10. Teach them self-soothing techniques and coping strategies: Help your child discover their own coping strategies by exposing them to simple yet effective tools, such as exercising, going outside for a walk, trying children’s yoga, or doing breathing exercises.

Once a safe environment is established and the stage is set for open communication, you can begin to explore outward manifestations and symptoms of the trauma. When we remove ambiguity and the need for guesswork from our interactions with our children, they will have the opportunity to focus their energy on healing and recovery.