We are highly threat-sensitive creatures. Back in the day, our ancestors spent quite a bit of time running or fighting for their lives. They faced large, vicious predators as comparatively physically weaker animals. Yet today, the things that cause us panic are seldom tigers or crocodiles, but mostly social things. Most of our worries live in an imagined future that may or may not come to light.

Just as walking a path in a forest repeatedly can cause it to become defined and more easily accessed, the more mental energy we put into any psychological process, the more quickly we're able to engage in it again. In the case of worry, this can transport us into a painful alternate reality, often without purpose. Dedicated time for planning is important, but intrusive worries about tomorrow make it difficult to attend to today.

Ironically, trying not to worry might only deepen the habit. Often when we try not to think of something, we think of it. Even the act of trying not to think about something connects back to that thing in that its purpose is just to distract. This can make us feel out of control in terms of our anxieties.

There is another way though: We can strengthen other paths. When our minds are set on worry, counter-paths, such as leaning into our dreams for the future, die out. To the contrary, by intentionally taking part in the practice of envisioning our hopes, and engaging in certain meditative practices, we can forge new pathways. What follows are two ways of doing this

Dreaming

Children often share their dreams loudly and with excitement. They talk about wanting to be a movie star when they grow up or hoping they can visit Mars. As adults, we tend to tone this down. Maybe too much. Taking time to deliberately dream, and to reflect on what matters to us is the first step in moving toward a future that we desire. The use of vision boards displaying images of one's ideal future is common in popular culture and has even made its way into the classroom (McCoy, 2022) and therapy room (Burton and Lent, 2016).

Visual prompts in the use of a vision board are an excellent way to practice dreaming. There are other ways as well. Journaling about what matters to you in terms of relationships, career, and other life domains is another practice. You can also resource stories from inspirational others to spark this habit.

Loving-Kindness Meditation

Loving-kindness meditation is an Eastern meditative practice that has been adapted into several therapies including Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy. The practice is simple: to send well wishes. Adaptations sometimes include sending repetitive or customized wishes to self, a stranger, people close to us, people we are worried about, people we are in conflict with, and/or the whole world.

One way of doing this is through a repetitive mantra (ie; may you be joyful) spoken aloud or in one's head. You can also do this through imagery by creating a literal or mental picture or symbol of the person doing well. Loving-kindness meditation fosters positive emotions (Zeng et al, 2015) and relationships (Hutcherson et al., 2008).

In Closing

Dreaming and meditative practices can help us counter the habit of worrying. For those struggling, psychotherapy such as Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, and Compassion Focused Therapy is available to assist.