I was recently struggling with a big decision and talking about it with a friend. It’s a risky decision and honestly, it’s unnecessary. My life would continue beautifully as is if I were to say no but could improve exponentially if I were to say yes. As we considered the pros and cons of my choices, I realized that it all came down to my belief in myself. If I said yes, I’d be diving into the deep end of the uncertainty pool and swimming or sinking would all depend on me. No one else. And if I said no, my life would remain the same (for the time being) and I wouldn’t experience any waves, or even ripples really, in the pool.

I really wanted to say yes and as it became clearer that this decision was really about my self-belief and nothing else, my friend said, “I will always bet on myself.”

Her words stopped me. I needed to sit with them for a moment to really consider what that meant for me.

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What It Means to Bet on Ourselves

When we bet on ourselves, we’re showing self-confidence and a belief in our own abilities, decisions, and potential for success. We believe that we have the necessary skills (or at the very least, that we can acquire them) to do the risky thing. We believe that we make good decisions overall and will do so here again. And we truly believe in our potential, that we will be successful no matter what. This last one is a little tricky because we also must be willing to believe that if the risk doesn’t work out, we’ll still be successful. That we’ll learn and grow from the outcome no matter what.

When we bet on ourselves, we trust ourselves to navigate challenges and are willing to take risks because we believe in our capacity to achieve our goals. We know that we’ve been through hard things before and have been able to navigate each of them. We have resilience. We know that this resilience is a part of our very being and trust that we can figure things out as they arise. We also believe that we know how to achieve big things, and even if we’re not where we want to be right now, we can expand our capacity to make it happen.

Betting on us conveys self-reliance, determination, and a positive self-image. When we take the risk, we’re demonstrating that we have power. I’m not talking about external power here, I’m talking about internal. The type of power that no one can take away from you, the kind that follows you from thing to thing, the power that lives and breathes deep inside you and always shows up when you need it most. Betting on us pulls at that power and brings it to the surface.

How to Know When It’s Time to Bet on Yourself

It can be tricky to figure out whether you should bet on yourself, especially if you don’t have much experience doing so (or if you’ve been unsuccessful most times you’ve done it in the past).

Here are some questions that helped me. I encourage you to grab a journal and take some time to reflect on each question. Write down whatever comes to mind and don’t worry about grammar, punctuation, or editing.

• When was the last time you bet on yourself? Write about the situation, the risk you took, why you made the decision, and the outcome (including any lessons or growth that occurred).
• Do you usually bet on yourself, or do you play it safe? Think of patterns and see if there are times or situations when you tend to bet on yourself versus times or situations when you don’t. What do you notice about your patterns? What do they tell you about your belief in yourself?
• If you were to bet on yourself most of time, what would your life look like? Let your imagination run wild here and write about this life full of risky bets.
• What happens when you don’t bet on yourself? Write about how you feel, how you behave, how you think, and how your life looks.
• If there’s a current situation where you’re trying to decide whether or not to bet on yourself, take time to examine your responses to the previous questions. What do you notice? What do they tell you about betting on yourself now?

Future Betting

I personally want to be like my friend and to be able to loudly and confidently declare: I will always bet on myself.

Her words caused such a shift in my mindset and emotions that I began to act. I took the first steps necessary for this bold move and did it with the belief that I can achieve my goals and navigate any difficulties along the way. And I know this because I’ve always done this. I’ve always figured things out and I’ve always found ways to grow, evolve, and be successful.

What about you? Are you ready to join me in this declaration?