Many of my clients who are survivors of traumatic relationships and families find that the anxiety lasts long after the relationship has ended. Because you were robbed of a safe environment, it can be natural to have feelings of unease or even hypervigilance throughout the day. Many people feel an increase in anxiety at work, at home, or in other areas that, for one reason or another, evoke the feeling of unease.

 

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While managing anxiety is sometimes a lifelong process, I find that those who learn ways to reduce symptoms as they arise have the best relief in the long run. Mindfulness and guided imagery have been shown to decrease symptoms of anxiety and stress and can be used to help manage difficult feelings or situations. When working with clients who are preparing to go to court against their abuser or are struggling with recurring worries or fears about their experiences, I like to teach them ways to calm their bodies naturally. Because many of my clients are part of the LGBTQ community, I find that learning ways to manage anxiety by focusing outside of the body is most beneficial due to the ways that focusing inside the body can be stressful for many trans and queer individuals.

This five-minute exercise will help focus the attention outside the body and can decrease stress and worry.

1. Find a quiet place where you will not be distracted.

This can be anywhere that you know you will have about 10 minutes or so of uninterrupted time. Put a “do not disturb” sign on your office door, or move to the back of your apartment or house where you will be less likely to be disturbed by the mail delivery or neighbor’s dog barking.

2. Make sure you will have privacy.

Do not forget to set your phone to “do not disturb,” and set the timer for five minutes (shorter if you feel at all nervous or uncomfortable with visualization or mindfulness exercises).

3. Sit or lie down so that you feel comfortable.

Some choose to lean back in their chair, put their head down on their desk, or lie down on a couch or bed.

4. To prepare your mind and body to begin, start by taking several deep breaths.

This will help calm you and prepare you to start the mindfulness process. As you continue breathing, concentrate on breathing in and out in a rhythmic way, focusing only on your breath as it enters and exits your lungs. Some choose to focus on counting to three or four as the breath enters their lungs, then holding for a count of three or four, and releasing for a count of three or four. Try not to get held up on the amount of time—do what feels most comfortable for your mind and body and what feels comfortable in your lungs.

5. Begin by imagining a scene that brings you comfort.

This should be the first place that comes to mind when you think of calm and relaxation. Try to focus less on what others find most calming and more on what you find to be the most relaxing place. For some, this might be in a hammock on a tropical beach or a quiet hiking trail on a mountaintop. For others, a cozy log cabin after a full day of skiing evokes feelings of calm relaxation.

What is going on in the scene? Where are you? Is it daytime, nighttime, or sunset? Are you wearing flip-flops or hiking boots that make a sound when you walk? What is the weather like where you are?

6. Think about the experiences that are taking place.

Start by going through each of the five senses: sight, touch, taste, hearing, and smell. If nothing comes to mind for one of the senses, skip it and come back if you want. Focus on the senses that you are most drawn to: What are you hearing? What do you feel around you?

You might hear the crashing of the waves against the rocks and the sandy beach. You might hear the birds and squirrels up in the trees above you. Maybe the fire is crackling in the fireplace in front of you in the cabin.

7. Allow yourself to further explore where you are.

Are you on a secluded mountaintop? Is there a rock nearby where you could sit and reflect? If you are on a tropical beach, allow yourself to walk around the beach a bit, feeling the warm sand beneath your toes. Look around. Are you alone, or are others around? Are there any animals near you? What else do you see, hear, and feel? Continue to allow yourself to experience this scene while continuing to take deep breaths and focus on what is around you in your mind.

8. It is normal for your mind to wander during this time.

If you find that your mind tries to return to the present, know that this is a normal part of the process. Acknowledge this happening without judgment and bring your focus back to the scene in your mind.

9. End as slowly as you began.

When the timer goes off, begin by acknowledging that the time is up. Take a few seconds to allow your eyes to slowly open as they feel ready. How do you feel? Look around the room and reorient yourself to the present location. Do not immediately open your phone or laptop to respond to emails or texts. Instead, allow yourself to slowly come back to the present moment.

10. Take time to reflect on the experience.

Did five minutes feel like a comfortable amount of time? Maybe you felt rushed to come back from the scene, or maybe you struggled to stay in the scene for this length of time. I usually recommend that clients start with a small amount of time that feels easily manageable, such as three to five minutes. Eventually, as you feel more comfortable, you can work up to 10 or even 15 minutes. However, starting with too long of a time can be intimidating and can turn people off from guided imagery.

Ultimately, be patient with yourself. Slowly allow yourself to work up to longer increments each time you practice guided imagery, increasing time only as it feels natural and comfortable. If you struggle to make it to the end of the time, adjust the time accordingly.