Mick Haupt/Unplash

If you're self-critical, you probably underestimate your inner strength.

How and why does this occur? Self-critical people often selectively attend to their weaknesses, failures, and missteps. For example, you probably find it easier to remember tasks you struggled with than those you effortlessly excelled at.

The attention and memory biases that self-critical people display can lead to underestimating their mental strength and resilience. Consider the following points to develop a more balanced view of your capabilities.

You're stronger than you think if:

1. You can recall times you succeeded with an achievement only on the second or subsequent try.

If you're self-critical, you may view not succeeding on the first try as a weakness. Instead, if you achieved success after an initial failure, try conceiving of this persistence (and your capacity to adjust your sails) as a strength. Many people give up rather than try again.

2. You can articulate a way you've grown as a result of adversity.

If you're self-critical, it might be easy for you to articulate ways adversity has harmed your performance or your mental health. For example, I've neglected my career during times I've experienced health challenges. I wish I had been able to maintain my focus during those times, but I wasn't always.

If you think more deeply, you may also be able to articulate other reactions you've had to adversity, like post-traumatic growth. If you've experienced both types of effects, give yourself credit for the growth too.

Growing as a result of adversity typically involves strengths like resourcefulness, hope, and flexibility.

3. You've been a valuable support to others.

If you've supported your spouse, children, or boss in their achievements, it may have come at the expense of your own achievements. When this happens, it's easy to underestimate your strengths. Try crediting yourself for what you've achieved yourself while supporting others, and what you've enabled them to do.

4. You've been able to effectively utilize support.

Have you ever tried to help someone, but no matter how much you try to lead a horse to water, the horse won't budge? This is frustrating. Maybe there have been times you've been the clueless or stubborn horse, and struggled to make use of the support given to you. However, it's essential to reflect on the flip side. Recall moments when you embraced the support opportunities available to you. Recognizing your capacity to leverage support reveals another dimension of your inner strength and resourcefulness. This strength is more significant and rare than you might realize.

5. You have some systems and routines that work for you.

Developing systems that serve you well requires at least two types of skills. First, you need habit formation skills. Second, you need self-knowledge. Rather than only criticizing yourself for not having perfect habits, try crediting yourself for the systems and routines that work well for you.

Consider a wide variety of systems, from practical routines (like those for grocery shopping, recurring work tasks, chores, or organizing) to routines and systems you have for managing your own or others' emotions and well-being.

6. You've retained a capacity for reflection and learning, despite any stress or challenges you might be facing.

If you're reading here at PT, it suggests you're motivated to reflect and learn. Some folks become so psychologically maxed out by stress, they have no capacity left for learning. Perhaps, for you, learning is part of your survival instinct. If so, that's a significant strength. Having the motivation to reflect and learn is a strength in and of itself. This is even more true if you respond to challenges by seeking to reflect and learn, versus only reflecting and learning during times when life is running smoothly.

Although it can be difficult for self-critical people, there's no virtue in not accurately perceiving your strengths. The better you can do this, the better you'll be able to creatively apply those strengths to your goals and dreams as well as any challenges and adversity you face.