Are you skilled at dealing with master manipulators? ...do you want to be?

Source: Alex Yomare/Pixabay

We are provided with opportunities to be manipulated every day—through advertising and marketing, sales pitches, and even from family, friends, and relationships. In fact, it is a rare individual who is not exposed to Machiavellianism, according to Dale Hartley's book, Machiavellians: Gulling the Rubes.

Hartley tells us why these people are closer to us than we think, and how, just maybe, we might even possess a few of the characteristics ourselves. Machiavellianism is one of the three personality traits that make up “the Dark Triad" of Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy. While we assume that manipulative and deceptive people are likely easily recognizable, Hartley demonstrates that they are not. They often blend in with others, just one manifestation of their ability to deceive.

Hartley explains that Machiavellian tactics can sometimes be used for "noble purposes," which raises the questin of whether manipulation is always wrong, or if it has some benefits. He gives the example of the famous story of King Solomon and the baby in which two women appeared before the king, each claiming that an infant child was their own. Solomon, not knowing who was telling the truth, used a manipulation tactic to get the answer: He ordered that the baby be cut in two, and each woman given one half. The real mother was revealed when she begged the king to spare the child's life, offering him up (intact) to the other woman.

Solomon didn’t hesitate to use trickery to discover the truth. His only other option was to just guess which woman was the rightful parent—essentially a coin toss. Solomon chose the right tool for the job, which in this case was to provoke a maternal reaction in the real mother. He manipulated her emotions.

Hartley also introduces the idea of "MADAR"—Machiavellian Advance Detection and Resistance—which provides insight on how to recognize master manipulators, and even how to beat them at their own game.

As a therapist who specializes in working with survivors of psychological abuse in families and relationships, I learned a lot from Hartley's book about the ways that Dark Triad personalities maneuver through life and how to protect yourself while interacting with others. It is common for many of my clients—and people I know in my personal life—to have experience with the types of characters Hartley describes.

Hartley's depth of information on deception and manipulative personalities makes his book a valuable resource for anyone who wants to learn more about Dark Triad traits and how to recognize them, and even those who wonder if they might possess some of these qualities themselves.

Is there room for ethical manipulation, and can it can be used for "benevolent purposes," as Hartley claims? Read the book to judge for yourself.