Who Should Avoid Super Vidalista?
Super Vidalista, a combination of Tadalafil and Dapoxetine, is commonly prescribed to treat erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE) in men. While effective for many, it's not suitable for everyone. Men with heart problems, such as recent heart attack, stroke, or unstable angina, should avoid it due to the risk of serious cardiovascular side effects. It’s also not recommended for those taking nitrate medications (often used for chest pain), as combining them with Tadalafil can cause a dangerous drop in blood pressure.

Men with liver or kidney disease, low blood pressure, or a history of mental health disorders should consult a doctor before use. Additionally, individuals allergic to Tadalafil or Dapoxetine should steer clear of Super Vidalista. It is also not intended for women or children. Always speak with a healthcare provider to ensure this medication is safe based on your health history and current medications.

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Myths, Mischief, and Misconceptions.
Informal misuse of psychiatric diagnoses stigmatizes those who suffer.
Reviewed by Tyler Woods

KEY POINTS-
Informal mischaracterization of psychiatric diagnoses increases stigma.
Just as we should confront racist and misogynist remarks, we should challenge misuse of psychiatric diagnoses.
Let us begin to stand up to those who use psychiatric terms that devalue others.

Medical terminology frequently drains into the non-professional population, which often adopts medical diagnoses inappropriately. Phrases like, “You’re giving me a heart attack,” or, “Don’t get psychotic about it” are usually said flippantly, without harmful intent, but can be offensive. Recognition that open acknowledgment of an illness might produce discomfort causes many people to whisper phrases like, “He has cancer.”

In particular, the invocation of psychiatric diagnoses by the lay public frequently reinforces misinformation that leads to increases in stigmatizing psychiatric patients. The term, schizophrenia, was first used by Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler over 100 years ago to describe a specific form of psychosis. Bleuler employed the word—schizo, meaning “split”; and phrenia, meaning “mind”—to describe patients’ confusion and fragmented thinking. However, the literal meaning has caused many in the general population to erroneously assume that the illness describes split (or, multiple) personality. In many cases “diagnosis epithets” are used as hurtful accusations. There are common examples:

“He acts strange; is he an Aspy, on the spectrum” implies that nonconforming behavior suggests a diagnosis of autism and devalues individuals with the disorder.

“My first wife was borderline” is code for describing the spouse as difficult to live with and subtly blames her for the failure of the marriage.

“I wish you wouldn’t get all excited and manic about this” suggests the person who may be moderately hyperactive has bipolar disorder, a very serious illness.

“Don’t be anorexic; have dessert with me” invokes the label of a serious illness to challenge the dining behavior of the companion.

“You are so OCD” accuses an individual who may be especially careful or perfectionistic of possessing pathological traits.

“When he gets angry, he goes all schizo” reflects the speaker’s attitude that this expressed anger is unreasonable, suggestive of psychosis, such as schizophrenia.

“She is so ADHD” might be a description of someone who appears disorganized, distracted, or forgetful.

“The horror movie upset him so much, it gave him nightmares and PTSD” conflates a serious and well-defined psychiatric diagnosis that usually persists for long periods with an acute, minor upset.

"Don't be antisocial, come to the party" misidentifies a person who resists socialization as a sociopath.

Examples like these usually are not meant to bestow formal psychiatric diagnoses. Most are not intended to be taken literally or even seriously. But referencing psychiatric terminology by nonprofessionals promotes misinformation and, when used in negative ways, expands stigmatization of individuals who suffer from mental illness.

These mischaracterizations trivialize the suffering endured by those disabled by the disorder. Just as many people will assertively confront others who use racist or misogynistic phrases, now, in May, which is formally designated as “Mental Health Month,” let us begin to stand up to those who use psychiatric terms that devalue others.

ANXIETY-
The Top 5 Myths People Have About Anxiety and Worry.
Worry does not actually help you be more productive or protect you from danger.
Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster

KEY POINTS-
Many of us believe that worrying about something will help us be more productive: “If I worry about this presentation, I will perform better.”
The main thing worry does is distort our thinking and give us more stress.
Try to replace worrying with self-encouragement and consider cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

Many of us (often subconsciously) believe that worrying actually works for us in some way. We might even think feeling anxious is necessary to help us get things done or be productive. For example, many believe that worrying intensely about an upcoming test or presentation helps us perform better and that we wouldn’t do well otherwise.

Psychologists call these beliefs about anxiety “meta-worry” because when we have these ideas, they involve metacognition, a psychological term that describes being aware of one’s thoughts and thought processes and having beliefs or ideas about them.

Yet, the idea that worrying about something will help improve the outcome of a situation in any way is a myth. It is simply not true (read further to understand why). Here are the top five misconceptions that people have about worrying:

1. Worrying will help you get things done and accomplish more in life.

Example: “If I don’t keep thinking about this deadline, I won’t meet it.”

2. Worrying will protect you from danger.

Example: “Worrying about my exam will prevent it from going poorly.”

3. Any sign of worry or anxiety that you experience indicates a real threat.

Example: “I have a strong feeling she is mad at me, so she must be mad at me.”

4. Worrying a lot will damage your body or health.

Example: “My worry is going to give me a heart attack or an ulcer.”

5. Worry is uncontrollable.

Example: “I am unable to control my anxiety — there is nothing I can do about it.”

These meta-worry beliefs are incredibly common yet often completely faulty. Here’s why:

While worry can sometimes be a little bit motivating, there are far more effective ways to motivate yourself (i.e., self-encouragement). Further, you are absolutely capable of being productive even if you are completely calm (more likely, in fact!)

For example, research shows that having self-compassion (being kind and encouraging towards yourself) is far more effective than self-criticism in motivating behavior change. The only thing that worrying and negative thinking actually accomplish is increased agitation and the release of the stress hormone cortisol. Instead of helping us do more, worrying just stresses us out.

Further, worrying does not influence the outcome of events. Worry most certainly does not protect us from danger because thoughts do not have any impact on the physical world. (Just try thinking, “Stand up! Stand up!” repeatedly. When you find that your body hasn’t moved, you will realize that thoughts do not lead to change unless you actively decide to change.)

In the same vein, thinking or worrying about something does not make it true. (Imagine you thought that purple was the best color. Does that make this a fact?) Worries are just thoughts - more similar to opinions than hard evidence. For example, if you have a thought that someone doesn’t like you, this simply does not mean it is true.

Anxiety often involves emotional reasoning rather than logical reasoning and is often loaded with bias and subjectivity. Even though your thoughts and feelings are very strong, this does not mean they reflect reality.

Worry itself is not dangerous or indicative of a real threat. It may be annoying and uncomfortable, but it does not harm the body. While chronic unrelenting stress is not ideal for long-term physical health, anxiety itself is not harmful. The presence of excessive anxiety and worry merely indicates that our nervous systems are responding to something we perceive to be worrisome, not that the situation actually warrants worry or is in and of itself dangerous.

Moreover, you have far more control over your worry than you think. Psychological science shows us that while you cannot eliminate anxiety completely, you can manage and cope with it. Numerous evidence-based therapies out there have been found to help people measurably reduce anxiety and worry, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

CBT therapists teach concrete coping skills such as progressive muscle relaxation, diaphragmatic breathing, reframing negative thoughts, and behavioral techniques for countering avoidance, all of which have been shown to be highly effective worry management strategies. If you are feeling helpless against anxiety, remind yourself that there are concrete actions you can take that will help you feel better.

The upshot? It is not uncommon to feel attached to your worry because you may superstitiously believe that it helps or protects you in some way. It may feel difficult to let go of it. The alternative? Try permitting yourself to do so, and you will find nothing bad will happen. In fact, you will feel calmer and more at ease. It may not feel easy, but take a break from worry (even a short break) and shift your mind towards self-encouragement. Challenge your negative thinking and consider how your anxious thoughts are subjective (and biased). The science of stress and anxiety support this approach.

What is worry good for? Absolutely nothing!

Portions of this post have been excerpted from my book, Goodbye, Anxiety: A Guided Journal for Overcoming Worry.

RESILIENCE-
6 Underestimated Drivers of Well-Being.
Research shows these psychospiritual forces may be critical for health.
Reviewed by Kaja Perina

KEY POINTS-
Meaning, purpose, value, connection, resilience, and transcendence are key drivers of well-being.
Research shows these psychospiritual forces may be critically important for decreasing risk of illness.
When I was in graduate school studying world religion, philosophy, and psychology, I became intrigued by what, if anything, undergirds the world’s wisdom traditions. I had no interest in diluting them or melting them into one. I was more curious about what was beneath belief. After much research, I arrived at what I termed the Six Fundamental Human Desires. Taken together, they are what all the major traditions, each in their own way, using their own language, care about and try to make real for people’s lives.

It turns out these desires can positively affect the body and mind as much as the spirit and soul.

1. Meaning
Meaning helps us to make sense of life and find significance in life. It satisfies our desire to have a life filled with understanding, awareness, peace, and satisfaction. Meaning helps us to see how we fit into the world, and that greatly shapes the stories we live by. Meaning gives us the sense that we, others, and certain things in life matter, which helps us to craft a rich and rewarding existence. Meaning gives us confidence that within each moment or each situation, there is something important and worthwhile that can orient us, carry us forward, and help us to be well.

Research (Bigony & Keitel, 2020) shows that meaning-making can lessen the negative effects of people adjusting to and living with chronic illness. Studies (Fredricksona et al., 2013) also reveal that people who believe their existence has meaning have lower levels stress hormones and more favorable gene expression related to inflammation. Further research (Park, 2012) shows that meaning-making can positively influence the transition of cancer patients into longer-term survivorship and help people harness the will to live, which has been shown to contribute to longevity.

2. Purpose
Purpose grounds and motivates us, unifies our life, and directs us toward some ultimate concern or “North Star” around which we shape our lives. Purpose satisfies our desire to have a reason to get up in the morning and go to bed at night feeling as though we’ve done something important or worthwhile. Purpose gives us confidence that we have “miles to go before we sleep.”

In a meta-analysis of 10 studies involving more than 136,000 people, researchers found that having purpose in life can lower your mortality risk by roughly 17% (Cohen et al., 2016) — about as much as following the much-celebrated Mediterranean diet. Another study (Boyle, 2012) found that if a 90-year-old with a clear purpose in life develops Alzheimer’s disease, that person will probably continue to function relatively well despite pathological changes in the brain.

Research (Alimujiang et al., 2019) also shows that people who have high levels of purpose spend fewer nights in hospitals and have lower odds of developing diabetes and over two times lower risk of dying from heart conditions than others. People with purpose are similarly more likely to keep active, get their cholesterol levels checked, even undergo colonoscopies; they can also buffer stress better (Kim, 2014).

3. Values
Values help us determine what we give priority and precedence to, and what we pursue in life. Values satisfy our desire to have something to work for, find deserving, invest in, and live by. Values give us confidence that there are certain things we can always turn to and rely upon to keep our integrity intact and keep us headed in the right direction.

Emotional or affective states, in particular the shame and guilt that often come from not living our values, can have a significant impact on health, illness, and health-related behaviors.

Shame has been linked to high levels of stress-related hormones that can meaningfully impact the immune system. Shame has also been linked to high elevation of cytokine activity. Cytokines are signs in the body of inflammation, indicating that a disease process may be in progress. Toxic shame — different from ordinary shame, which passes in a day or a few hours — has been shown to result in substance abuse, eating disorders, and self-harm. One large-scale meta-analysis (Kämmerer, 2019) showed shame’s link with depression is especially strong. Shame has also been linked to irritable bowel syndrome (IBS; Muscatello et al., 2016).

Similarly, guilt is related to anxiety and depression, but also to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), insomnia, loss of appetite, stomach and digestion issues, and an overall dreary or “weighted down” feeling (Hotchkiss, 2013).

4. Connection
Connection helps us relate to and form relationships with others and the world around us. Connection satisfies our desire to bond and belong — to have a type of familial warmth and security. Connection gives us confidence in the very real power of trust, intimacy, community, empathy, and love.

Connection is a critically important contributor to good health and longevity. According to the Harvard Women’s Health Watch, numerous studies (2010) have shown that people who have satisfying relationships are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. One study (Harvard Woman’s Health Watch, 2010) of more than 309,000 people, found that not having strong relationships increased the risk of premature death by 50% — that’s comparable to smoking as many as 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical inactivity. Another study (Berkman et al., 1979) showed that people who were disconnected from others were roughly three times more likely to die than people with strong social ties.

Researchers (Ruberman, 1984) at the Health Insurance Plan of Greater New York found that of 2,320 men who had survived a heart attack, those with strong bonds had only a quarter the risk of death within three years as those who lacked social connectedness. Researchers (Brummet, 2021) at Duke University Medical Center also found that connection can reduce deaths in people with serious medical conditions. Among adults with coronary artery disease, the mortality rate was nearly two and a half times higher among those who were socially isolated. Other studies show that connecting with others also helps relieve harmful levels of stress and inflammation, which can have an adverse effect on gut function, insulin regulation, and the immune system.

In contrast, loneliness can lead to disrupted sleep patterns, elevated blood pressure, delayed recovery from injury, surgery, illness, cognitive and functional decline, including dementia, and a wide range of diseases, including cardiovascular disease and cancer (American Psychological Association, 2017).

Overall, there is consistent and compelling evidence (Umberton & Montez, 2010) that connection contributes to lower rates of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, greater empathy, and more trusting and cooperative relationships.

5. Resilience
Resilience shows us how to flourish, not despite but because of adversity, in a way that improves, rather than hurts our lives, and fortifies, rather than weakens our spirit. Resilience satisfies our desire to live fully, love deeply, and thrive—every day, come what may. Resilience gives us confidence that life is always worth living.

More and more research shows that resilience can buffer various mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Resilience can also help offset factors that increase the risk of mental health conditions, such as being bullied or previous trauma.

Resilience has been found to lower blood pressure; offset insomnia, heartburn, indigestion, and heart disease; and boost a weakened immune system (Harvard Health Publishing, 2017).

The link to resilience and the immune system is particularly important. In one study (MentalHeath Net, 2023), depressed women suffering from breast cancer were found to have fewer immune system cells and weaker overall immune functioning when compared to non-depressed breast cancer sufferers. Because the job of the immune system is, in part, to hunt down and kill cancer cells, depressed breast cancer sufferers’ weaker immune function means that their bodies are less likely to be able to resist their cancers. Similarly, another study found that depressed bone marrow transplant patients were significantly more likely to die during the first post-treatment year than non-depressed transplant recipients. In a third study (McGowen, 2018) in adults with HIV, high resilience was related to a lower prevalence of depression, anxiety, and problems with ADLs.

6. Transcendence
Transcendence wakes us up to the fullness of life — to experience something greater than our daily to-do lists, something truly sublime or, for some, even the divine. Transcendence satisfies our desire for wonder and awe. Transcendence gives us confidence that there are things in life that will always inspire, encourage, humble, and excite us.

Many people associate transcendence with religion and spirituality. Researchers (Mueller, 2001) at the Mayo Clinic concluded that religious or spiritual involvement is associated with better health outcomes, including greater longevity, coping skills, and health-related quality of life (even during terminal illness), and less anxiety, depression, and suicide. Other studies have found that addressing a patient’s spiritual needs enhances recovery from illness.

Frequent attendance at church, temple, mosque, or other spiritual gatherings may also improve health. For instance, in one study, religious or spiritual attendees were more likely to stop smoking, increase exercise, increase social contacts, and stay married. Multiple studies (Koenig et al., 2012; Strawbridge et al., 1997) also show that religiously inclined people live longer. Research at Duke University has similarly found that those who are religious have a strong internal sense of control, which can help people cope with depression and anxiety and deal better with adversity.

Of course, you don’t have to be religiously inclined to benefit from the experience of transcendence. Research (Allen, 2018) at the University of California, Berkeley on the relationship of positive emotions and levels of proinflammatory cytokines found that awe, more than any other emotion, significantly reduced inflammation. As mentioned previously, proinflammatory cytokines are cell-signaling proteins that help to fight infection or injury. High levels of these cytokines have been linked to several chronic diseases, such as cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and depression. In this study, awe was the strongest predictor of lower IL-6 levels, a proinflammatory cytokine.

Experiencing transcendence while in nature or viewing awe-inspiring images decreases sympathetic activity and increases parasympathetic activity, effectively switching our nervous system from a heightened state of arousal to a place of calm (Shiota, 2011). A study (Chirico, et al., 2018) with Virtual Reality stimuli found that looking at high, snowy mountains increased people’s mood and sense of awe, while viewing the Earth from space or a forest did not; the mountain scene also induced the highest level of awe, although the other stimuli also increased awe significantly.

A study (Anderson et al, 2018) with military veterans and youth from underserved communities found that the transcendence and awe they experienced while whitewater rafting, significantly reduced stress and increased overall well-being. The effects continued to improve one week later. Researchers also found that on days participants spent time in nature, generally, they reported feeling more awe — as well as greater life satisfaction and well-being, suggesting that awe may be a crucial ingredient in nature’s restorative abilities.

The connection of the body, mind, and spirit and its relation to well-being has been a topic of discussion throughout millennia. Today, a holistic biopsychosocial-spiritual model of health is increasingly finding its way into the mainstream, as individuals, families, and health and mental health providers recognize that just as we have basic physical needs, we also have fundamental human desires like meaning, purpose, value, connection, resilience, and transcendence that may be as important for decreasing the risk of illness and death and increasing overall health.

Solving the Pandemic After the Pandemic-
Long COVID affects millions. It illustrates the need for a new medical paradigm.
Reviewed by Tyler Woods

KEY POINTS-
Long COVID research has been pioneered by patients, with the medical establishment playing catch-up.
A new paradigm for patient-centered health care is emerging, emboldened by new technological advances.
A new bottom-up approach for pursuing research could transform care for many hard-to-treat diseases.
We now stand at the meeting of two eternities, to borrow a line from Henry David Thoreau: the past and future.

That is the present moment.
On May 11, the Biden administration is slated to end the public health emergency for the COVID-19 pandemic. But although certain government services will end, the virus won't stop replicating and spreading, and its long-term effects on our immune systems still carry the same level of risk.

For tens of millions of people around the world, "the pandemic after the pandemic" is well underway.

Study after study shows that 10 to 30 percent of those infected with COVID-19 go on to develop symptoms of long COVID, including debilitating fatigue, post-exertional malaise, and brain fog, among as many as 200 other symptoms. A study from Harvard economist David Cutler estimates the long-term economic toll of long COVID at $3.7 trillion in the U.S. alone, a number that is on par with the Great Recession.

In shifting to this new phase of the pandemic, it's essential to refocus an all-of-society endeavor to offer treatments, services, and support for COVID long-haulers to preserve their dignity and their dreams.

As a society, we have always rallied to visions at the frontiers of the imagination: staring down the totalitarian menace in Europe during World War II, landing on the moon, and developing a vaccine in record time to quell the tide of a global pandemic. That's the magic of thinking big.

But just as we developed public-private vaccine distribution through Operation Warp Speed, we need a similarly ambitious set of policies to reckon with the long tail of the virus, how it's etched itself into the lives of tens of millions around the world in myriad ways seen and unseen. Many have debilitating symptoms that never left them after their infection; others carry invisible organ damage that leaves them vulnerable to sudden heart attacks or strokes years from now.

We need an Operation Warp Speed for long COVID.
As the public health emergency is set to end, there is no more important time in a generation to be evaluating how many important lessons the pandemic has taught us about ourselves and society, and how we can leverage this moment toward a new, better normal for science and health equity. So far, innovative patient groups were the first to research and write "the first textbook on long COVID," as the Los Angeles Times put it.

What they’ve taught us is a method for rethinking biomedicine more broadly and pursuing cures across all diseases.

Reinventing medicine, with patients at the center
In short, we may need an entirely new paradigm for how we think about medicine.

The idea of a "paradigm shift" was coined by philosopher Thomas Kuhn, in his book, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. At inflection points in history, new ways of gathering or processing or even thinking about data radically rewrite the rules of the scientific enterprise itself.

New technology has spurred breathtaking new revolutions from the Human Genome Project, advances in supercomputing and big data, blockchain and Web 3.0, and most recently the blossoming possibilities of generative AI. Patients are likewise empowered in ways never seen in human history: we can use social media to form support groups across the globe while ill in bed, we can build our own patient registries to partner with research labs, and can generate our own data through smart watches, Oura rings, or other wearable devices. And new platforms even enable us to organize our own clinical trials.

All these changes add up to the full coming-of-age for precision medicine. This personalized approach is becoming more accessible to every man, woman, and child, with costs falling exponentially, and access to these technologies available through the iPhone in your pocket.

This new paradigm can and should be a patient-centered paradigm.

From a different vantage point, that was also the message from Psychology Today editor-at-large Hara Marano, after she wrote a harrowing feature story delving into the depths of physician burnout, and how it was leading higher rates of suicide among people who had dedicated their lives to health care.

But in their own way, the healers are hurting as much as the sick. Doctors allocate their time into 15-minute appointments, becoming cogs in a machine meant to fully optimize bureaucratic “relative value units” rather than to connect with a fellow human being in need. Constrained by the system, this leads to what’s called "moral injury." That’s when an individual is compelled to respond to or witness a system that runs contrary to their own ethical beliefs.

Studies from the American Medical Association show that 80 percent of physicians report burnout, and suicide rates among doctors outpace those in the general population. In short, a failure to embrace this more human-centered frame puts not just patients’ lives at risk, but physicians' lives as well.

But most importantly, forging a more humane way of thinking for doctors and patients can liberate all of us.

Welcome to the Revolution
In this new column, "Patient Revolution," I'll be chronicling these stories at the front lines of science and democracy. It's a breathtaking time to be alive, to be a science writer, and to have a foothold in helping forge the next generation of policies that can improve the lives of potentially billions of people around the world.

I'm excited to share the first volley of stories: in the coming weeks, I'll delve more into the movement to treat long COVID, the tales of those who laid the groundwork for the patient-led movement, and the stories of communities who are forging the new paradigm in medicine.

The human need is being met by patient entrepreneurs with long COVID who are creating new apps to track and manage symptoms, generating bottom-up solutions with patients rightfully claiming the mantle of true expertise. We'll explore how the Biden administration's new long COVID health report lays out a roadmap to use long COVID as a catalyst to roll out human-centered design principles across the health care system.

COVID long-haulers are just the latest example of how patients have harnessed emerging technologies to take back their own agency in medicine. I'll take you into some seminal experiences over the past decade through the Stanford Medicine X community with dozens of "ePatient Scholars"—such as a philosopher with brain cancer and a quadriplegic artist with multiple sclerosis—all challenged the health system to be better. I'll also peel back the curtain on my own creative process: I chronicled patients’ quest to change health care forever in my book The Long Haul. But it’s often not enough to just be a journalist covering the story. Stories cry out for action, and should compel us to roll our sleeves up to be part of the solution. I want every would-be creator to make their writing or art part of their own vision for their own future success or for inaugurating a better world.

These stories are constantly unfolding, across disease and discipline and demographic. The Wall Street Journal's Amy Dockser Marcus recently published the book We The Scientists, illustrating how families with children afflicted by the rare and deadly Niemann-Pick disease organized clinical trials to race toward a cure. Those families were pursuing their game-changing work, just as Brian Wallach, an alum of the Obama '08 campaign, was being diagnosed with ALS, the same terminal disease that felled baseball great Lou Gehrig and physicist Stephen Hawking. Determined to change that trajectory for himself and thousands of future patients, Wallach decided to tackle his medical care like a presidential campaign, galvanizing ALS advocates and leading toward a landmark $100 million bill signed into law that could transform ALS treatments. As Politico put it in a headline, "He was given six months to live. Then he changed DC." I believe that these sorts of moments can become the norm, rather than the exception.

At every step, this patient-led innovation requires relentless optimism, constant drive, and an unyielding audacity to change our own lives.

"If you hang out with the cowboys and the rebels and the pioneers, you will see the future faster," says Susannah Fox, a former chief technology officer for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and the author of an upcoming book called Rebel Health.

Come hang out with me. And let's go see the future together.

How to Avoid Experiential Avoidance.
How do most people deal with unwanted experiences?
Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

KEY POINTS-
Humans, it seems, have an unwillingness to stay in contact with their unwanted internal experiences.
Avoiding emotional struggles can transform ordinary feelings into clinical issues.
In experiential acceptance, there is no attempt to avoid one’s unwanted emotions.
“The resolution to avoid an evil is seldom framed till the evil is far advanced, as to make avoidance impossible.” –Thomas Hardy

How do most people deal with unwanted experiences? They avoid them. They try to displace them with alcohol, drugs, half-truths, or lies, to themselves or others. Does it work? Possibly, at least temporarily, but not usually long-term. The depression, anxiety, fear, trauma, etc., still seem to find a place to reside, either in our emotions or in our thoughts.

Humans, it seems, have an unwillingness to stay in contact with their unwanted internal experiences. This attempt to get rid of or avoid unwanted feelings, sometimes quite normal feelings like sadness or anger, can have drawbacks. Avoiding emotional struggles can transform ordinary feelings into clinical issues. Experiential avoidance exacerbates these normal everyday problems (Moran, 2022).

Experiential Acceptance
The process of not simply noticing but also embracing one’s experience without judgment or defence is known as experiential (or psychological) acceptance. This concept is essentially the antithesis of experiential avoidance. “Psychological acceptance typically goes hand-in-hand with cognitive distancing or defusion. In fact, some theorists argue that the process of distancing oneself from one’s distressing experience automatically leads to acceptance of that experience (Brown & Ryan, 2003).”

In experiential acceptance, there is no attempt to avoid one’s unwanted emotions. Instead, there is an acceptance of these experiences, in the service of making positive behaviour changes consistent with one’s goals and well-being.

The definitional goal of acceptance as an emotion regulation strategy is not to change the experienced emotions, but to receive them without control attempts (Hayes, 2004; Kohl et al., 2012). Experiential avoidance seeks to control these unwanted experiences by displacing them with emotional regulation strategies that are counterproductive. They provide temporary relief at the expense of potential growth. They are the proverbial Band-Aid being applied externally in an attempt to manage an internal wound.

“It’s very easy to be judgemental until you know someone’s truth.” –Kate Winslet

Non-Judgemental Awareness
Harvard researchers found another key aspect of mindfulness involves acceptance and non-judgement of our present-moment experiences. This includes accepting our thoughts and feelings—whether positive or negative—and immersing ourselves in the present moment without evaluating it.

Observing life experiences without labelling them as right or wrong helps with being non-judgemental. Staying present-minded also keeps past experiences from encouraging a leap to judgement. Positive thinking is an attempt to chase the good instead of the bad.

Positive Thinking
Johns Hopkins expert Lisa R. Yanek, M.P.H., and her colleagues, found positive people from the general population were 13% less likely than their negative counterparts to have a heart attack or other coronary event. Positive thinking has been linked to multiple benefits (Park, et al., 2016).

Better stress management, greater resistance to the common cold, longer life span, lower rates of depression, and enhanced psychological health are a few examples. Positive thinking has also been shown to reduce frailty during old age (Gale et al., 2017).

Chasing the good and not the bad seems to be a more productive pathway to mental and physical health. The good news is that these approaches of experiential awareness, non-judgemental awareness, and positive thinking are all readily available if we choose to implement them into our lives.

Personal Agency, Again
Avoiding experiential avoidance is, once again, a matter of personal agency. There are no special skills required. Personal agency only requires an individual’s ability to control their own behaviours and reactions to circumstances beyond their control, even if their actions are limited by someone else or something else.

The woman who is a victim of domestic violence only needs to decide what she needs to do for herself and her children. As she takes steps to change the situation (for example, by leaving her partner), she will likely experience anxiety, self-doubt, and other distressing experiences. It is the acceptance of these experiences, in this case in the service of making positive behaviour changes consistent with her goals and well-being that constitutes experiential acceptance (Brown & Ryan, 2003).